Three Cent Stamp
Amusing musings and streams of consciousness

Squirrels drive me nuts! They are quite destructive in their attempts to get at my seed and hummingbird feeders and  I have spent no less than a fortune on “squirrel proof” bird feeders. On more than one occasion they have made their way off with an entire feeder, drained them and left them in the woods. Twice the feeders were never even found. They have chewed through hoses and wood railings and once one got in the house and the webster chased it all over the living room (seriously, I don’t know what it is about dogs and squirrels). I’m embarrassed to say that once, out of frustration, I took the hose to them (they don’t like water) and I used the jet spray until they were halfway up the trees (only to return 20 minutes later). 

Yesterday, a squirrel made his way upstairs, how I don’t really know because he can’t even stand up straight (hence his nickname, “Sideways”). It’s painful to watch him. He leans to the left whereby he runs in a circle as he tries to stand and grab seed. When I first saw him I thought maybe he had a concussion because his body seemed to be going into spasms. His leaning is so bad that he’s taken to leaning up against the house, a plant, the chair leg, whatever he can use to prop himself up to eat.  I felt so sorry for this pitiful little squirrel that I tossed seed out to him – or rather, I tried. When I opened the sliding glass door he scurried down the deck rail and jumped into the woods in a panic. I watched him, literally, roll down the hill. I winced in pain watching him. I felt worse when he fell over, laying there upside down, struggling to get back up, then once up, in exhaustion, he leaned against the trunk of a tree. Torturing him was not my intent.  

This morning, I patiently waited for him to return and I tossed seed out several times so I wouldn’t scare him. Finally, at 1:00 he showed up, after all the other squirrels and birds had come and gone and pretty much picked all the seed up. There he was, going round and round the chair leg, unable to stand straight. I wondered  how many times he’d circle the chair before making himself dizzy.  He did manage to find a morsel or two as the chickadees and juncos ate and dropped seed from the feeder. Do I open the door or not, I debated. I let him be for awhile so at least he could get something to eat. An hour later he was still there, patiently picking up seeds wherever he could find them. I was relieved that the other squirrels left him alone. So many times I see squirrels chase and bite each other, running each other into the woods. Finally, when I could no longer take it, I ever so slowly opened the door and dropped small pieces of hemp bread on the deck and then, just as slowly, I backed away. Sure enough, he came out from behind a potted plant, picked up the bread and continued to go around in circles until he made his way to the side of the deck, propping himself up. Hopefully the bread will fill him up. I also left fresh water out for him.

Just call me sucker!